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IT’S A GIRL!!!! (Thank God!)

I remember the day the ultrasound technician told me that I was having a girl. I wanted to cry because I really wanted a son.  I already had 3 nieces and one nephew.  Then, since twins run in my family, rather than dwell on the fact that I’d be having a daughter, I took pleasure in knowing that there was only one life growing inside me. However, that didn’t prevent me from asking the sex in subsequent sonograms.

When my daughter came, hospital employees told me that it was good she was a girl because preemie girls seem to be harder fighters than boys. I laughed it off as merely a myth.  Since I only had that one child, I had no other child to whom I could compare her.  Then, as she grew older and seemingly fearless, I thanked God for not giving me a boy as I’d hoped. This was one tough little girl, who is willing to try most things that other kids her age wouldn’t try.

Funny thing is that as I grow older, I pay more attention to the adversities faced by the opposite sex. We are geared to look at man as the stronger sex, the providers, the base of the family and community. And in many ways, men are just that.  But because of the very reason our ancestors were brought to this land (their strength, physicality, endurance, etc.), Black men are feared, often seen as more of a threat than an asset. And as they fight against stereotypes and social prejudices to be who they are taught to be, they often make mistakes as most people do; yet, Black men face harsher judgment, not only from other races but also from their own. Those that have “arrived” see nothing wrong with stepping over a brother who is lying down and reaching up for help. Those who may have struggled before see it as a right of passage to have another struggle the same way rather than lend a hand.   It’s truly sad.

Being a single parent is hard as it is. It’s even harder for a Black woman, as society views me as a lower class of citizen. I struggle with trying to make sure I teach my daughter to love all people while keeping in mind that at some point, I’m going to have to teach her that not everyone is going to love her because of the color of her skin. Yet, the Black woman is not as much of a threat as the Black man. So, although being a single parent isn’t easy, I’m happy that I don’t have a son and have to teach him how to be a Black man in a world where the odds are stacked against him.  This point was made even more obvious in a video I saw this morning:



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