Reported and diagnosed cases of STDs are exploding across the nation's college campuses because of this generation's casual, 'swipe-right' attitude, some analysts suggest.

The good news is neither Alabama or her step-sister Auburn are at the top of the short list of College-Hacks Top Five colleges with the most reported STDs. The bad news is they both made the list.

The very bad news is the list wasn't even based off the most recent information published by the CDC which shows the amount of cases reported in Alabama are double national average. The diseases being transmitted are gross, too.

Ordinarily, I'd suggest some folks round up a cardigan or sweater, spend some quiet time with a book (I personally recommend the Bible), and self-reflect while they hunker down at the HOUSE and ride out all of those nasty side-effects from the aggressive medicine they have to take to kill the funkiness on and in their bodies. People might get too worked up and cry though, so an explanation of how to identify and report sexually transmitted diseases can be found here.

Enjoy the Top Five List of Colleges with Most Reported STD's below.

  • 5

    Auburn University

    Say what you want about Auburn University, but they know what they're doing when it comes to treating animals and exploring every point on the triangle of STDs made up of chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhea.

    auburn.edu
  • 4

    University of Alabama

    Chances are pretty good that during your academic career at Alabama, the football team will win at least one National Championship trophy and you will graduate with a degree in gonorrhea. 

  • 3

    Florida State University

    Florida State University is one of the nation's most elite research universities which means they know about the CDC's latest report.

    Researchers may want to break out some new Petri dishes to discovery how to stop chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhea from spreading on campus because the amount of reported cases have gone BERSERK.

    Jonathan Wilbur
  • 2

    The University of Iowa

    The University of Iowa is a major national research educational facility with a huge 1900-acre campus which is plenty of room for STDs to frolic.

    uiowa.edu
  • 1

    Arizona State University

    Arizona State University is one of the top universities leading the way for innovation, affordability, quality of student body, and degree programs.

    Arizona's dry, arid climate may help with various lung ailments but if you're not careful, you may end up with some straight-up sin on you.

  • 6