The best part of Halloween is the candy. This is not up for debate. Sure, your little party may be fun and your costume might be super cute and/or witty, but you know what? Neither of these things can bring you the joy of a Reese's Pumpkin. Eating one of those bad boys is like having a throng of angels wrap you in a fleece blanket that just came out of the dryer. 

What I am trying to say here is that Halloween candy is my JAM. (I love taking a few pieces of my kid's haul because MOM TAX, but that's another post for another day, friends.) I am ALL ABOUT those sweet treats, but HOO BOY, do I make an exception for one abomination against the Lord.


Candy corn is TRASH. I said it. Fight me.

Candy corn tastes like someone took a huge bowl of chalk and added about ten tons of corn syrup and a metric buttload of food coloring. I haaaaate it.

I would rather have my taste buds burnt off with a branding iron than eat candy corn.

I would rather eat those cheap little black and orange taffy things that taste like rotten peanut butter and grandma tears.

I would rather become an Auburn fan.

I would rather drink that hot garbage water that pools in the bottom of a dumpster.

If you told me the only sweet I could ever eat was candy corn, I would become a hard core sugar-free fanatic.

I just hate candy corn, man. I can't stress that enough. Am I crazy? Where are my fellow candy corn haters at? Y'all sound off and let me know I am not alone.