Why Are You Single?

"Why are you single?'

This has to be one of the worst pickup lines ever.  I mean, I know that it's ultimately a compliment, saying that a person as attractive as you shouldn't be alone, but how do you respond to it?

"A relationship is not my top priority right now. So, after I take care of the things that come before it, it's more of an afterthought."

"I'm a single parent, and I don't want to interrupt 'date night' for anybody else to watch my daughter so I can do on a date."

"I'm working on myself. Even if you don't see many flaws in me, I know that I have them; and I want to deal with them before availing myself to another relationship."

"Men usually have a fantasy of who they think I am, which is quite the opposite of the truth."

Perhaps the simplest answer, "I just haven't met the right man yet." And this is true. The right man will understand that we'd have to complement each other, not make each other.  He'd have to realize that I have a child with whom I have to spend time and nurture. He'd have to know ME and know that I don't always manage my time well. Therefore, the day he wants to go out just MIGHT be the day I NEED to do laundry instead. Again, another flaw to amend. Otherwise, I know I could come across as selfish.

But the most honest answer would probably be that I keep meeting guys that fall into THIS LIST.  Out of the list of 10 Men that Single Moms Should Avoid, I am approached the most by 5 of them: the sugar daddy, the party animal, the home-turfer, Insta-dad, and Issues Man.

The problem with the sugar daddy is that my affections can't be bought. I don't care how much money a man has or how much he says he wants to do for me, if he's not doing them WITH me, they don't mean as much. As for the party animal, what a lot of people don't know about me is that I'm NOT a big party person. I grew up in a household where our parents would rent movies, order pizza, and pop popcorn for weekend fun; or we'd go to museums, zoos, aquariums, play miniature golf, etc. Therefore, family time is WAY MORE important to me than being in the middle of the action. Mr. Home-Turfer, you HAVE TO understand that I'd want to incorporate you into MY life as much as you want me in yours.  Plain and simple, insta-dads creep me out; and Issues Man needs to do like most people who don't want to date serially and work on his own happiness before trying to share what he doesn't have or trying to find it in another person.

But all of that is too much to say when someone asks, "Why are you single?" So, for now, I'll just stick with, "I just haven't met the right man yet."