This morning, I was talking to my older brother (as I do almost every day), and he expressed a thought I'd never considered.  He is a writer for an online magazine with a core audience of the 18-35 year old Black Christian man. However, he receives the most responses on his articles ffffrrrroooommmm..... You guessed it. Women! While he thought this to be odd, I thought it was quite natural for one reason alone: Women seek self help more.

As I pondered this idea more, I realized just how many magazines there are that cater to women.  There are some that tell us what vitamins work better to support particular bodily systems, what foods help us to burn more fat, what exercises help sculpt our muscles without bulking up and what exercises bulk some areas that need a little more muscular help.

We have magazines that tell us how to treat our men, how to have better relationships with other women, and how to manage our occupations, motherhood, and being wives. Some give us tips on saving money, how to get certain looks with our clothing and hair, and where we can find items that help us manage our home's decor.

With so many publications in existence, it's rare that you find one that folds. I think this is because as women, we're on a constant journey of discovery-- a never-ending quest for perfection, if you will.  In my brother's case, he receives more feedback from women because not only are we trying to improve upon ourselves by listening to our competitors (other women), but we're also interested in getting into the minds of those we're looking to please. So, for a man to write about the male psyche and relate it to Biblical principles can be quite intriguing.

To take that even further, women are more open to communicating their thoughts and feelings than men are. So, although we are not the targets of his articles, we're more apt to read and respond because we just have to make our feelings known.

I recall a story a lady was telling me where she says she called herself giving a man constructive criticism and told him, "Have you ever thought about changing the way you get your hair cut?"  (I think he was balding or something.)

He told her, "I like my hair the way it is."

To this, she replied, "Oh really? Well, what do you like about it?"

"What do you like about YOURS?" he asked.

"What's that supposed to mean? What's wrong with my hair?"

"What's wrong with MY hair?"

"I was just telling you what I thought could make it look better!"

"What if I told you what I thought could make yours look better? Would it make a difference to you if you like it the way it is?"

The woman walked away from this incident a bit offended and wondering why her constructive criticism wasn't appreciated. Easy answer: Nobody asked for it!

That's one characteristic that most of us have in common.  Because we are on a constant search to be better, we try to think of ways to make other people and situations better when our advice is very much unsolicited. Now, ironically, I'm working to improve that in myself. If a person asks for suggestions on ways something can be improved, by all means, I'll share my thoughts. But if nobody asks me, ESPECIALLY if what I'm saying can be seen as offensive when given deeper thought, I'll keep my mouth shut. and continue to improve upon myself and my surroundings will follow suit, OR I'll find myself seeking new surroundings to suit the new me.