You Need a White Friend

Amid all of the racial unrest across the country, I know I am taking a risk by saying this, but I think that ALL people need at least one friend of a different race. I have quite a few, and some of us met for "dinner" last week. Boy, let me tell you.....

Last Thursday, three of my closest Caucasian friends and I met at Los Torascos for a little bonding. Now, let me paint this picture for you.  They're all pretty fair-skinned and quite fit with hair either flowing down their backs or in a cute little cropped cut.  I'm on the thicker side and burst up in that thing with an afro! I felt like this:

Although that was the case, I hadn't eaten all day. So, I STILL ordered two quesadillas. However, that was all that I ordered.  No sides or anything.

Anyway, like I said before, these girls are pretty fit.  They didn't eat much, but margaritas.... Oh, they enjoyed those! You did see where I said we were at a Mexican restaurant, right?  I don't know the difference between their drinks and drinks anywhere else, but just one had everyone loosened up.  At this point, our differences didn't matter so much. We talked about some of eeerrrr'thang! Motherhood, work, embarrassing stuff, men....

Now, there's no doubt that I was lost on a few things, simply because of cultural differences. But I'm glad that I have a group of sensible, COUNTRY white friends with whom I could discuss those differences.  Just the same, when they have a question about things black people do, they know they can come to me to give them an answer.  For instance, one asked me why black women pat their heads when they itch rather than scratching.  When I explained the range of reasons from style preservation to scalp safety before a relaxer, it provided a bit of clarity.

Just the same, I had NO SHAME in asking if white people used towels in the shower.  I told them that because most of our thoughts about the unknown stem from the media, it was only natural for me to think that white people didn't use towels. In every movie I'd ever seen where a white person took a shower, they turned the water on, got in, used their hands to lather the soap and ran their hands all over their bodies.  Never touched a towel, other than the one they wrapped around themselves when they got out the shower.

Tell me I'm lying!

You can't.

When I brought this up (on a different occasion, by the way), they looked at me with faces that said, "We'd never noticed this before" before saying, "Of course we use towels!"

The same way that I'd taken that one thing I'd seen in movies and thought it might be normal for white people, but it was seemingly absurd, I think it's just as absurd to take what is seen on television or heard in music and think that it applies to most black people. I scratch my head when it itches...... unless I'm wearing a weave with a net and can't get to my scalp!

The girls and I had such a good time in our break from our other responsibilities that we completely lost track of time.  It wasn't until restaurant staff kept coming by our table, which was ducked off in the back corner, that we took a look around and realized we were one of only two tables of guests still in the place! In the world of professionalism, motherhood, etc. on a Thursday night, this was the equivalent of shutting the club DOWN on a Saturday night.

We made our ways to our respective homes and immediately began discussing the possibility of our next gathering. Wait! Did I mention that one of them paid for EVERYBODY?!?!   *quick head turn to the side*  Giiirrrlllll..... I was completely prepared to pay for my own, but who am I to turn down a blessing?  I offered my money three times. You know the three-time rule.  I just hope they don't expect ME to jump up and big ball for us all at any point. If this is some type of rotation, I think I'll skip my turn.

P.S. Nobody got "white girl wasted."  For my unaware white friends, this is a real term. Look it up.