I want to discuss something can can be a bit controversial, but it's worth discussing.  Is it just me or do White people seem to like natural hair on Black women more than the majority of Black Americans?

"I'm just going to be honest with you: Not many men like this whole natural hair thing."

Yes, I've heard these words uttered by a Black man. It kinda hurt my feelings too.... Until I went to the store, and a handsome White man looked into my eyes and said, "I love your hair!"

Is there anything wrong with stating your preference? Absolutely not. But why is it that the man whose hair is the same texture as mine views what God gave US as not good enough for ME? Mind you, the Black men that make these kinds of statements often have coarse hair that takes just as much training as the coarse hair of a woman. In addition, they make comments like these:

"Ooh! Full lips. I love those."

"Big boobs? Nice!"

"I like my women a little thick like they're from the Motherland."

How do you say these things and then turn around and say, "Have you ever thought about straightening your hair?"

Granted, straightening your hair doesn't mean it has to be relaxed, but why is it that hair must be straightened to be deemed attractive when men don't bother to straighten theirs? Curly hair that is properly groomed still looks nice. It can be quite artistic, actually.

The crazy thing is that the Black man that wants us to stand by him, support him, understand his plight, and fight with him through it doesn't see the beauty in everything that makes us unique and has no problem expressing his disdain if we happen to be attracted to the man who does see our beauty if that man is of another race. Black women who date outside their race are often called sell-outs, Massah's mistresses, etc. (Lord knows Paula Patton caught it from Black men who felt like she deserved to be dogged by Robin Thicke.)

How can you want us to stay true to ourselves but want us to alter ourselves at the same time? Is there some inherent self-hate there?

Can anybody explain this to me?