Alabama Mom On Why Mother’s Day Can Feel Like More Work Than Joy
One of our favorite new contributors, Holli Mack, has been very fired up about Mother's Day all week long.
Apparently, some of us guys are not getting it right. Holli has been thinking about it and has some great thoughts on the day for moms. Mother's Day things to think about from an actual mother. Holli, what say you?
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This week has featured a lot of talk about Mother's Day (Which is this coming Sunday, May 10th - don't say I didn't remind you). Businesses have special sales, Preschool teachers are helping toddlers make cards and handprint crafts, and greeting card companies are counting dollars rolling in at record-breaking speed as we are ALL being reminded about Mother's Day and all things "Pink and Precious." However, as I found out this week, for many, it's far from that.
I am married and a mom, and both my mother and mother-in-law are still living. While those are reasons to be thankful, Mother's Day does not feel like Unicorns, Rainbows, and puppy breath to me. In fact, I kind of dread it in a lot of ways. I love to celebrate MY mom, and I'm so thankful for my child, who made me a mom. However, it's never been a day that turned out the way I thought or hoped it would, and over the last few years, it's become a day I kind of dread, often one where "good intentions" created a much heavier workload for me, or one that was forgotten altogether.
Besides, not unlike Valentine's Day - should we have to be told to celebrate it, or made to feel like we MUST buy flowers or cards only on that day? If we appreciate mothers the way we should, shouldn't we do those things on a random Tuesday? Instead, we're all made to feel like we aren't doing things right if we don't buy Mom a card, a dozen roses, and take her to lunch. In reality, so many mothers want the day to be very different, but no one is really bothering to ask us what we want. (For the record- I'd love a card that my child made, and just to have my family say "We DO see everything you do for us..THANK YOU! We appreciate it!)
For me personally, I'd love just ONE day - literally ONE - where I didn't have to plan anything, be responsible for anything, or feel guilty for not completing a "to-do list." My mother's day dream would be to get a full 8 hours of sleep (in a hotel, by myself), and not have to think about being responsible for getting people up on time, to bed on time, permission slips or packed lunches, or even the guilt of not getting the dishes done, laundry washed, sheets changed, floors mopped, dinner for tomorrow prepped, and countless other bells answered and eggs fried.
And then, on top of the "mom guilt" of feeling like I wasn't present enough for my child that day, there's the guilt of feeling like I didn't spend enough time praying first thing in the morning. My intention is always to begin the day with dedicated prayer time, but honestly, there are days when my prayers are said silently, as I crawl into bed and fall asleep before I've even gotten halfway to "Amen".
A few years ago, I read a social media entry about God meeting moms in the chaos. I'd like to find the original version and credit the author, but every time I've seen it, it's been edited over a thousand times without proper credit given. Portions of the original post still exist, but the overarching theme is that as moms, many of us feel guilty for numerous reasons, including not meeting God where and how (we think) we are supposed to. Below is a combination of my own thoughts and feelings about motherhood, mixed with a few lines from the original post, and the important reminder of what REALLY matters...
"I thought being a “good Christian mom” meant quiet mornings,
a Bible already highlighted, an aesthetic home, coffee still hot, and children peacefully asleep while I prayed.
But real motherhood laughed at that idea.
Now my prayers sound like,
“Jesus, please help me,”
while I’m wiping spills, breaking up sibling arguments, nursing a new baby, teaching math at the kitchen table, answering a million questions, working overtime, my heart breaking for my child who is crying crocodile tears as a result of being bullied, trying to run a business full time, be a mother full time, be a wife and daughter full time.
My worship happens with a baby on my hip, or in the few moments while sitting alone in my car in the driveway before walking into the house.
My Bible gets read - or listened to- in tiny pieces between lessons, snacks, diapers, contracts, carpools to practice, and tantrums.
And God still hears me.
I don't have to be on my knees, or in my prayer closet, or in silence, or with hands lifted in worship, or writing neatly on the pages of a prayer journal. GOD STILL HEARS ME.
He meets me in the mess.
In the laundry piles.
The tears cried in the shower, the dinner I went out of my way to fix, only to have my family choose the box of fried things from the rollator at the gas station, or the desperation of exhaustion from being the last to bed, the first one up, and awakened multiple times in between. In the middle of phonics and math drills. While I’m negotiating contracts, designing social media marketing campaigns, answering messages, cooking dinner, and trying to pour into others with an already tired heart. On the living room floor, when I’m exhausted and holding back tears.
God doesn’t ask Christian moms to be quiet and put together.
He asks us to be honest.
To bring Him our tired faith.
Our half-finished prayers.
Our overwhelmed hearts.
And somehow… that still moves Heaven.
Because the same God who parted the seas
also sits with us on messy couches,
listening to whispered prayers from worn-out mamas
who are teaching, loving, serving, trying to hold on, and trusting Him with everything they have.
Remember, mamas: not only were you "fearfully and wonderfully made," but God meets you where you are—even in the CHAOS of motherhood!
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