Texans, Don’t Come for Alabama Unless We Send For You

One thing about me, I love my family and friends in Texas. My mother was born and raised in Galveston, so I have a fondness for the Lonestar State. BUT … your residents just can’t have feelings over what we do in Alabama. You haven’t earned the right.

Consider this your warning Texans, like my favorite cheerleaders said “You don’t want no problems, you just talk like you do.”

Texans: Don’t start nothing, it won’t be nothing when it comes to the Alabama Crimson Tide. But SINCE YOU STARTED … I’ll gladly take the opportunity to finish. I let you have a full week to have some sort of pride in your Crimson Tide bashing.

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This one Texan asked the question “How Bad Does Alabama Suck? They Ruined This Texas Favorite.” Even said they wince when they see the “big ole A logo.”

It’s great to know the Tide is on your mind!

Newsflash, Crimson Tide fans don’t have much concern for the Texas Longhorns and while I’m here, you should know that your BBQ is extremely dry. (And your yuppies turning into “new” cowboys craze is laughable.)

Also, we know everyone has an ex that lives there (including mine, please keep him).

Keep Steve Sarkisian, his eccentric new lady, and their monkey, too.

Why are Texans Disgusted with Alabama?

The news hit a while ago that Whataburger was coming to the Tuscaloosa Strip, which is close to the heart of the University of Alabama’s campus. Now, work has started and the Whataburger sign clearly does not display its official orange logo color.

Texans are so offended that the orange color was ditched. REALITY CHECK: That has ZERO to do with Texas.

(Like, the Texas Longhorns would never allow a drop of crimson on their campus.)

Instead of worrying about what won't appear in Alabama, maybe you should be more concerned with what will appear on your campus. Like, when do you plan on acquiring a CFP national title? One of those will be important as you run away from the dilapidated Big 12, and into the arms of the SEC.

I love me some Whataburger. But if you want to complain about something, tell Whataburger to bring back the mushroom Swiss burger, please. Let that be your ministry.

With love and pettiness, Mary K., an Alabama Fan.