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What If Santa Was from Tuscaloosa? 


I believe that Santa is from Tuscaloosa. Let’s think about it.  

 If Santa were from Tuscaloosa, he would be an Alabama fan. Hence, his crimson red Santa suit, white accessories, and a touch of cool gray.  

 He has to be from Tuscaloosa; he wears crimson red, over and over. Like how Alabama fans wear the championship t-shirts for 10 to 20 years later. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had one under his Santa suit.  

 Santa Claus does have a pretty jolly belly. I mean, Tuscaloosa was deemed the least fit city in Alabama, according to BarBend. So it makes sense. No shade on my end; I like my men big and burly.  

 His favorite pet was Rudolph, the reindeer. He was a pretty famous pet because he saved Christmas that one year with his nose so bright. The color of Rudolph’s nose was crimson red.  

 Let’s talk about Santa’s driving skills. He travels by way of a sleigh, which is pretty close to a pickup truck. I don’t know about you, but it seems like everyone has one in Tuscaloosa. (Try parking next to one – your car door will be dented up).  

 Back to the sleigh, he can navigate through all kinds of obstacles across the world in a timely fashion. I believe Santa got that training by navigating all the orange cones around T-Town. Not to mention the non-signal using drivers on McFarland. And those rude changing lane folks on Skyland.  

 It was well known that Santa Claus was a single man for many years. The fact that he didn’t want to commit to a relationship sounds like almost every man I have met in Tuscaloosa.  

 However, he finally got over that bachelor phase. He eventually settled down with Mrs. Claus, who is more than likely an Auburn graduate with a hospitality Ph.D. I mean, we all know how many males Alabama fans like to talk smack about Auburn but be in a full-on relationship with a graduate from Auburn.  

 I’m not sure what else you need to prove that Santa Claus could very well be from Tuscaloosa.  

(Source) For more from BarBend, click here. 

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